|My infertility journal that I started in 2012- random notes from Dr. appts on our journey of 3+ years, thoughts, etc. <3|
|Love you, Jess! <3|
So, from here, it's kind of more waiting. Waiting to see if we can apply for this grant and get started on stuff through the NY clinic... Waiting for the appt with them... Waiting to see if we can still work with CT for monitorings and whatnot (Since they're like sister clinics, hopefully all our info can easily be shared between the two to make this a little simpler for us)... Waiting to see how we can best afford it all... Waiting for my next cycle to start... Waiting for it all to be settled and cleared so we can start the process... etc. Etc. Etc.
We ALSO had an appt for Scott today as a followup to a trip to the ER last month. He had severe stomach pains and we thought it was his appendix. They did a CT scan and determined it was pancreatitis. He was put on a super limited diet for a week until pain and inflammation went away and was told to avoid alcohol, caffeine, fatty foods, etc. He wanted a second opinion and had a follow up with a Dr for a diff issue today, but a Dr who specializes in digestive issues. Thankfully he said it couldn't have been a serious case of it bc they would have admitted him and given IV fluids- he was shocked we were sent home that day, so he called it a pretty mild case. He did say it's smart to avoid the above things for a bit and then it's ok to have them in moderation. He suggested a pretty healthy diet and said it's def possible for a flareup again, but if Scott plays it smart, it's not likely. So after a few more weeks of playing it safe and making sure everything is all healed, he can have a drink with me every so often as a treat. So that's good at least. Silver lining. Not a death sentence- just a wakeup call to eat healthier, and we could all use that so there's no harm there. Just extra time hopefully. :)
Did I also mention how our house is still not selling? Another MAJOR stressor. Everyone loves the house itself but the power lines out behind our house are a complete deal breaker for pretty much everyone that comes through for a showing. It's super frustrating. A few people have been somewhat interested but nothing has come out of it. We've tried suggesting a few things but not getting anywhere there either. Our "dream home" is currently available and we currently have a deal that they've accepted, based on the sale of our home or Scott's parents (Which is now on the market... they live in SC now and don't need 2 big homes)... however I know the deal won't last forever. We need it to sell. It's so frustrating. The power lines are 100% safe (the kitchen clock radio gives off the same amount of electromagnetism as the closest power line... and the microwave is like 12x the amount. We have reports showing this and they're all out for prospective buyers to see) but it's just a matter of the right people coming in I guess.
Im normally all about positivity & looking on the bright side. But it's really hard sometimes, and really really hard now. It's a lot at once. I want to believe it'll all happen bc I truly believe we deserve this to happen, but it's hard when nothing is moving. It's like being in quicksand or just a stick in the mud. We aren't going anywhere and are at a standstill. I hate complaining bc there are so many people who have it way worse in life. I have a million things to be thankful for, that I AM thankful for, but my goodness there is a lot of hope and belief for nothing to be happening. It's like being stuck at a big intersection where all the other roads are getting green lights multiple times and your light is still red. Nothing is tripping it to signal your turn- you just see everyone rushing by happily on their green lights and waiting anxiously for our turn. Is the light broken? Or is our turn really going to come along ever?
It's a lot to handle. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to just burst one day, so I gotta keep taking it one day at a time. Ok, off to Zumba in a bit. I need to dance out some stress... then maybe Little Miss Sunshine will return soon. <3 :)
'Til next time..