Thursday, April 2, 2015
Impossible is Nothing... **Updated Prayers, Please**
WOA.... I have felt everyone's prayers, positive vibes, thoughts, love, juju, etc. Loud and clear. You guys are a powerful bunch it seems. SO much so, that this morning's follicle scan went into overload.
There were actually TOO many growing/developing egg follicles, which can be a bad thing. I have no desires to be the next Octomom or Kate Plus 8. My IUI cycle is in danger of being canceled and there's a very high possibility of that happening. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for that because I will probably cry if that's the case, but I know it's better than the possibility of having every egg fertilize and stick. That would SO be my luck... 5 failed attempts and then bam all at once. Plus my lining was actually PERFECT this time (Come on! WTF!). The Dr. today was hesitant to cancel but told me loud and clear that there is a very good possibility of it not happening this cycle, turning our backs and letting this cycle play out on its own like a girls-only retreat. My assigned Dr is the one on monitoring tomorrow, thankfully, so he "chickened out", as he put it, to "punt it to Dr. Murdock and let her make the decision tomorrow". Hehe :) I totally respect that and I do honestly 100% understand this. It's not good for anyone to have wayy too many eggs and risk doing an IUI with that.
So I return tomorrow, NO meds tonight, to see what happens and make a final decision in the morn. I held it together in the office and then once I called Scott from the car I couldn't help but turn into a full out baby. He assured me there's nothing we can do, it is what it is. Dr H even said it's not a bad problem to have. If I had no eggs, that's harder to fix. This would just mean a lower dose on my injections next time.
I've been trying to let it sink in and try to mentally prepare myself for it to be canceled. BUT it's not my style to give up without a little glimmer of hope. Like Disney-esque, fairytale hope. I emailed my nurse to see if it was even worth coming out AGAIN tomorrow (hello 50 min drive one way... and another day waking up early on spring break... but it still beats going out there before school and waking up earlier, so it's a good week to have to go out there 3-4 times). She wrote back a little while ago and said she had my Dr review my report from this morn & she does think it's worth going tomorrow. With no medication tonight, I might have a few follicles that beat out the rest and a few that stop growing. Of course I am taking that little glimmer of hope and I'm running with it, full speed. I see this as the door open just enough for us to possibly slide through before it closes.
Anything can happen. Anything is possible... Nothing is impossible. Miracles can happen, right?
So, please, again I ask for your support through prayer. They are definitely working, without a doubt. We just need to specify and fine-tune them a bit. Let's hope for the lead follicles to be in the safe range of numbers and the smaller follicles to STOP in their tracks and not get in the way. Basically, I'm asking for prayers for us to still be able to proceed with this one. My lining was perfect. I have had a really good feeling all of a sudden. Things are aligning, I just need them to come together and balance out.
If it doesn't work out, I will be ok. Bummed, but ok. I'm getting better at the shots and the hormones haven't consumed me or made me crazy this time (At least I don't think so... Scott, don't chime in if I've been awful. And if I have, I'm sorry hun!).
THANK YOU in advance!!!
S & S