I've always had a difficult time accepting help from others, especially if it's 100% help. I have a hard time asking for help and a hard time accepting it. But that has to change and I realize that now. I am SLOWWWWLY accepting help and learning to say yes when people offer things, even if reluctantly. I can be stubborn sometimes. ;) One of my coworkers had a baby last year and always tells me to live it up because it's the only time it's totally okay to get special treatment like this. A few others have said the same and I know they're right but it's hard to get used to! Even when it comes to finding clothes for school (which is SOOO hard many mornings because I just wanna wear sweatpants every day), a bunch of coworkers have said it's fine to dress down a bit and just be comfortable (I only wore sweatpants on pajama day recently but I'm definitely not in dress pants and nice shoes either). I always say thank goodness leggings are in style because they are Godsend and so damn comfortable! I often wear those or jeans with acceptable tops for school. I have a good number of maternity pants and tops now, but it's still a struggle some mornings to coordinate it all together and still feel cute. I'm starting to try and show off my baby bump more often. It's sometimes a fine line of looking pregnant or looking fat and I obv want to stick on the pregnant side. I can't wait til the majority of the public can tell I'm pregnant and not think I'm just overweight or question if mayyyybe I'm expecting. It's definitely something funny I think of often and laugh to myself about.
The weekend of Week 15 was fun because it marked 17 years of Scott & I being together. We were HS sophomores in 1999 and went to a semi-formal dance at West Point on 2/6/99. That night changed our lives (although little did we know at the time). We spent a lot of time hanging out and dancing together that night, and Scott called to ask me out the next night, 2/7/99. That was a Sunday and I always love 2/7 a little more when it lands on a Sunday. We actually saw and placed an offer on our current house on Sunday 2/7 in 2010 too (also Super Bowl Sunday). I said when it falls on a Sunday, that weekend seems to have extra good luck for us, and we have Bee with us now. <3
15 week official bump shot :)
At 15 weeks, Bee is the size of an orange! Our little cutie is 4 inches and 2.5 ounces.
According to my fav baby apps...
- Baby is squirming a lot, even though I likely can't feel it yet (*I think I do from time to time but it's been inconsistent and every so often, or always feels different)
- Joints and limbs can all move now!
- Bee's body is becoming more proportional
- Bee's ears have migrated to the sides of the head & eyes are moving to the front of the face.
- Can wiggle fingers and toes :)
- Mama got her energy back (*Mostly true!)
The assignment was to draw some things that were longer or shorter than a provided piece of string (which was maybe about 6 inches long). This one little girl drew "Mrs. Ricci's baby" as being shorter than the string! I love it! :) And she's right! At this point, Bee is little. :)
At exactly 16 weeks was our 16-week checkup with our OB. Scott has been at every single appointment with me so far and plans to do so as long as he can. This appointment was pretty quick since there was no ultrasound. The nurse took my vitals and I was bummed to hear I had gone up about 5 pounds since our 13-week appointment... Ooops. I cringed. Time to lay off the weekly McDonald's cravings. I'm officially up about 10 pounds, but when I think about being just over 1/3 of the way and they suggested about 30 pounds, it's not terrible. I just have to be smart about giving in to cravings even though it's so easy to want to be like "whatever, I'll eat what I want". Mini wakeup call. When the Dr came in, we got to hear Bee's heartbeat with the doppler device they use just to check that. It was around 137-140bmp. *(The last one a few weeks ago was around 155, so I can't even go by the wive's tales to tell if we've got a boy or a girl. Each heartbeat read shows a different sex, so we shall see what happens!)
I was SO relieved to hear the heartbeat because I can't help but totally freak out and let my nerves get the best of me before each appointment. I wonder if Bee is okay in there or if I'm miscarrying with no symptoms. It's crazy but it's reality. I still am in doubt sometimes that we are in this and it's our reality. I know I will have this worry for the rest of our lives now, being parents, but holy moly. I can't wait for Bee to start kicking soon so I can be reassured he/she is in there.
We also talked to the OB about the Zika Virus, my latest extreme fear. I'll try not to go into too much detail in this post about all my fears but it just seems so unfair and ironic that something like this is targeting pregnant women. And the fact that it's surfacing when it's finally our turn to shine. As if you don't have enough to worry about in a regular pregnancy, throw in fertility struggles, dealing with a miscarriage, and now a virus that affects fetuses? No way. Basically I keep saying I want to just stay in a bubble until August. We had originally planned a Babymoon (new spin on a honemoon- a mini getaway before baby arrives) and we were set to spend a relaxing weekend in Disney in April. Just us and the Polynesian Resort (where we've always wanted to stay). Sunshine, palm trees, a pool... pure happy. Then the ugly Zika monster popped up and I can't take that risk. Even though FL isn't totally affected yet, it's targeted to... and Disney is like THE go-to spot for tourists worldwide. I couldn't live with myself if we went and I got (or even thought I got) the virus. It's not worth putting Bee in that risky situation and our OB strongly agreed. So cancel we did and I just would like a bubble with a massage and a relaxing sunny weekend with Scott, inside the bubble. Anywhere with no mosquitos of any kind.
After the appointment, I met my BFF for lunch and then did some shopping. It was a great day off from work! :)
When I got back to school on Thursday, my substitute from the day before had left me a wrapped gift and a card. I opened the gift to see a frame for an ultrasound pic. How cool, I thought. I then looked closer and thought to myself "WOW, that looks JUST like Bee!"... I turned around to where I kept my pic of Bee on my wall, and it was gone. So I knew this pic was indeed my pic of Bee. So sweet. :) My sub knew the pic was there and had planned it. So now Bee sits on my desk in a place of honor.
Our sweet Baby Bee is the size of an avocado this week! Woaaaa baby!
This week, Bee is 4.6 inches and 3.5 ounces. Also...
- Bones are now in place in the ears, which means Bee can probably hear our voices as we talk and sing. *(I've totally been talking to Bee, mostly when we are alone at home or in the car. I can't wait for him/her to really hear more of us and begin to recognize our voices.) <3
- Beginning to make facial expressions.
- Eyes are finally working, making small side-to-side movements and perceiving light, although eyelids are still closed.
- Bee is growing hair, lashes, and eyebrows.
- Bee is forming taste buds.
- Fluttering sensations/movements may soon be felt by Mama :)
Even though we will wait to pick out baby shower decorations and a theme until after we know the sex, I can't help but look at all the adorable Bee themed baby stuff!! Lots of gender reveals and gender neutral things are being focused on the "What will it bee?" theme and "Mama to Bee" and "Parents-to-Bee". It's all so cute and so fun!! Even though I will likely go with a fully girly girl or totally boy theme, I want to somehow incorporate some aspect of a Bee somewhere. Whether a few balloons, or something on a cake, or something like these adorable cookies, how can you resist?