Two weeks to wait and find out if we are pregnant or not for this cycle. But really, by now, 1 week has already gone by. Two weeks of trying to stay positive and calm. Two weeks of analyzing every single little twinge or symptom your body is going through. Two weeks of driving your husband crazy with said twinges and symptoms. Two weeks of wondering. Two weeks of waiting. Two weeks of constant chatter in your mind and anticipation. Two weeks of pure excitement. Two whole weeks...
Be patient. Stay calm. Keep yourself busy. Don't overanalyze every feeling in your body.
Yea, ok... easier said than done!
Honestly, believe it or not, I think I'm doing better than I expected to (just don't ask Scott because I guarantee his opinion will be way different! I think I am totally driving him crazy! Sorry hun... sort of!) ;) Two weeks is a long time to wait, and in our case it's really 16 days to be exact because that's how long from IUI to blood test results. The beta, blood test, is the mac daddy of pregnancy tests. I can pee on a stick but ultimately it's the blood test that is the most accurate. Technically we only need to wait 2 weeks, but that will put us at next Saturday and the nurse pushed it to Monday because of the weekend. I could probably drive out to the further clinic for the blood test on the weekend but since she said Mon, 3/24, I'm sticking with that. She said I could do the home test (POAS~ pee on a stick), but I'm not so sure yet if I will. I'm paranoid of a false positive from fertility meds pre-IUI (even though they should be out of my system by then) and also paranoid of seeing a negative and thinking it's over, to find out Monday it could be positive. The only way to be sure is to do it the right way so I don't think I'm going to cave yet. If I do, it'll be either Sunday or Monday morning because Scott will be home those days too... and waiting til the end of the school day for a phone call could be tough. ...Who am I kidding, by next weekend I'll probably be going insane.
The work week goes by much faster for me because I'm not next to the computer for 24/7 access for answers to my latest crazy question. Googling a symptom, predicted timing of certain feelings, things to look for, things to eat or to avoid, yup I've pretty much used every crazy question and wording to look for different results. Hopefully this school week will go fairly fast as well, I'll try to keep busy over the weekend, and then it's here. It's not that far to go.
I've had a strong sense of positivity since last Friday, 3/7, the day before IUI. A strong sense of positivity, happiness, calm, excitement, all rolled into one. Just pure endorphins and feeling great. It honestly hasn't left me, overall. I've had a few moments here and there where it's gone to the back of my mind, but overall it's stayed with me and it's like a calm aura surrounds me. Whether this is a good sign or not, I hope it stays with me because I haven't had a headache all week and it's just left me feeling really good.
My dad always told me "Positive things happen to positive people". I believe that whole-heartedly and that's another reason I try to keep that positive glow in whatever I do and wherever I go. I've kept that attitude with me even through the first half of this 2 week wait because, well, it's technically our first real one! We've done the wait thing before, but looking back with our new knowledge in the past year, none of those waits would have resulted in a pregnancy anyway because we were missing one key ingredient. This time is different, there's a real possibility, so therefore I am more hopeful than before.
As I said in last week's post, I don't plan to announce the results of next week's test. I'm not giving any specifics until the time comes for a happy pregnancy announcement. Of course we hope that's sooner than later, we don't know what the future holds, but this is my thinking for now. Sure I'm being hopeful and looking for lots of signs from the universe (and my body) for signs one way or another, but I'm not posting any of those specifics until the time is right, either way.
If it's a BFN (big fat negative), I don't plan to tell anyone and we will move right into cycle 2 once my next period comes, repeating exactly the same steps we did this time.... repeat, repeat until we get a BFP (big fat positive). Once we get that BFP, I still don't plan to tell anyone, and we'll wait 'til we hit the safe zone of 12 weeks so we don't jinx anything.
The other reason for not wanting to tell everyone right after the test results is it takes the excitement away from sharing the news when the time comes. If everyone asks, they'll be looking for how we react and guess on their own, or start telling others our news, or their predictions. If everyone knows on the day of test results, it rips me of the chance to share the news in fun, creative ways (which we all know is SO my style! =) ). I've been googling cute pregnancy announcement ideas for over 2 years now. If everyone knew right away, where is the fun in that? There isn't any. And because of our struggle and our journey, I feel we will be even more excited than some who haven't struggled, so I don't want the announcement part to have to be less, just because everyone knows the exact weekend conception possibly happened. I know everyone is super excited, and trust me, I am SO grateful for that, but I also want to put ourselves back on even playing field with the rest of the world for at least one part of our journey to parenthood. Super cute announcements are something I've daydreamed about, and if everyone knows immediately, it just deflates that. I'll also ask that when we do start sharing the happy news, whenever the time comes, that you please don't share it with others who may know us. I want everyone close to us to hear it from us, not from another family member or friend. It's our exciting news and I want to share it our way because it's something that means a lot to us and that we'll have to strategize about. It'll be fun and I know everyone will be excited for us but I want it to come from us. If there's someone you want to tell or think we might have forgotten, just ask.
I think that's it. Not much else to report except that we're just a week away from possible life-altering news. After the IUI last weekend, I was in NYC with my cousins and talking to one about motherhood. I suddenly stopped and said "Omg, what did we just do?! This could be real!" Realization set in that I could really, actually, be declared a Mommy soon... AHHH!!! :) :) :) Life-altering, yes.. but also SO unbelievably exciting. We are SO ready for this.
This was me, feeling happy and on top of the world just the other night.